Most Cringeworthy Non-Christian Argument Ever,,,

I'm just watching some standups at The Comedy Store on TV, and a comedian came on...he's Scottish, I've seen him before, and I can't remember his name.

Anyway, he came on and told us that he attended a Christian conference in Hyde Park. There was a stall set up saying 'Free Toastie for all of God's children'. This guy goes up and asks for a toastie, and is asked whether he is a Christian. The comedian replies, 'If I'm not, does that mean I don't get a toastie? Cos that's not very Christian.'

Grrr! That last comment is a comment that really gets on my nerves. It's often used, in my experience, by non-Christians wanting to get a cheap laugh around others. I've never heard it said to me in a one on one conversation, unless there is someone in earshot...but otherwise I haven't. In this case, we don't know if the guy at the stall would have given this guy a toastie or not...it would be nice to think that the event would have been a great evangelistic opportunity...then, he says that before the Christian guy can make an informed decision. And in that moment, instead of thinking evangelism, he was thinking, I've got to appear to be a good Christian in front of this non-Christian.

You could say that to any Christian, and they would be right - Christians are not able to stop sinning once they accept Jesus into their lives...but with the Holy Spirit's help, we try to glorify God through our every action because we love Him. It's a cheap blow to say to a Christian, "that's not very Christian" because that just enhances our struggle as then we are accepting their judgment of us, and feeling guilty for the thing we've done, or haven't done. When actually, we should only care about one opinion. God's opinion. We should be seeking to please Him, not people.

MTV Movie Awards 2011

Last night, I saw on twitter that the MTV Movie Awards were top trending. That reminded me of my post from last year (cast back through my posts to see it), at the time I was very bored as I was jobless and bored. Now this year, I missed the main event but I do have a job! And I have just looked at the results - and I am not surprised. I would have been surprised had the actual best nominees won, but there you go...if you're a Twilight fan, of course you would vote for Twilight, even if it wasn't the best film out of the options.

Best Film apparently was Twilight: Eclipse. I would have said Inception....with The Social Network coming in at a close second. I have seen all five nominees for this category, and for the sake of this blog, The Black Swan and Harry Potter 7A were the other nominees. In terms of acting, script and CGI - Inception wins as it has all three. Eclipse has pretty good CGI, but acting wise, Kristen Stewart is a try hard and doesn't quite hit the nail on the head, and the script, I'm not too fussed - it's a weird story. The Social Network has brilliant CGI, scriptwork and acting - but the CGI in comparison to Inception? There's no contest. Harry Potter 7 - acting was bad as usual (apart from some great older ones), CGI is pretty good compared to HP2 (the last one I watched), and scripting with the bad acting, it didn't work for me. Inception should have won.

Best Male Performance....you have three guesses. No, two. Scrap that...it was Robert Pattinson - you didn't need two guesses as it was that obvious. Clearly more people are on Team Edward than Team Jacob as R-Patz beat Taylor Lautner to this award. I would have opted for Jesse Eisenberg personally. The other nominees for best actor were Daniel Radcliffe (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - this must have been a joke - good one MTV), and Zac Efron. Definitely Jesse Eisenberg. When it says Best Male Performance, it's difficult to compare the others with Jesse Eisenberg as their acting styles were completely different in each film....or maybe Eisenberg was just leagues better. No idea. That was my personal view - and again, for the record, I have seen all five performances.

Best Female Performance. Eurgh. None. Kristen Stewart won....come on. MTV needs to show it has some credibility. Other performances were from Jennifer Aniston, Emma Watson, Natalie Portman and Emma Stone. I have seen all but Jennifer Aniston's...but from every other film with her in - I can safely say, no. Natalie Portman won the Academy Award for Best Actress, not that she should have as according to recent allegations, she only performed about 5% of the dancing in the film - and the film was weird and very uncomfortable watching. Emma Stone in Easy A was an alright performance, but from the whole year? Seriously? Are these the only performances MTV can come up with? Ellen Page should have been in there...and even Angelina Jolie in Salt - not a big film, but she always provides brilliance. So the winner of this? The non-nominee Ellen Page.

Best Breakout Star - I've seen two out of six. I can't really comment on this one.

Best Comedic Performance - Emma Stone in Easy A. I've only seen one out of five. She was alright, but I wouldn't say she's the best at making jokes work. Some females can carry a joke, some can't. Emma Stone has moments, but she isn't a natural. I'd opt for Zach Galifianakis - as in the moments of The Hangover that I enjoyed, he was there. That is all I can say.

Best Line from a Movie - "I want to get chocolate wasted". Just watched the scene on youtube. Delivered by a child...no thanks, I'm not a huge fan of Adam Sandler, his films, or quotes from his films. Easy A was nominated with "There is a higher power that will judge you for your indecency." "Tom Cruise?"' - this quote just annoyed me. The trailer ends with this quote, and I didn't find it that funny - it had potential to be funny, but Tom Cruise? Sank like a lead balloon on me. And the way she delivered it, just wasn't that great. Tom Hardy's quote from Inception was 'You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." - Inception is brilliant, and this quote was brilliant, but there is a better quote on the nomination list. Delivered by Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network, "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook." Screenwriting at its BEST. Seriously. Brilliant. And Justin Timberlake's quote is alright, but not a brilliant quote from The Social Network - just another quote. Winner should have been Jesse Eisenberg's quote.

Best Villain? I've seen two of five. I can't make a judgment, but I can say that in the absence of any Twilight villains, Tom Felton jumped in as the token Harry Potter villain. And all the fans of Twilight/HP jump from one boat to the other, regardless of whether he was the best. I can't think of any other villains, apart from bad guy, Liev Schreiber in Salt. He was really good. But after looking through the nominees, I would be interested in seeing Christoph Waltz' performance in The Green Hornet as he was remarkable in Inglourious Basterds as the bad guy.

Best Fight? None of these fights sound that great. I've seen four of five fights, and none of them were very good. There must be other fights in films this year, what with The Prince of Persia, Clash of the Titans, the Karate Kid, Narnia...there will be a better fight in one of these films. Clearly MTV just stick to the usual films and won't stray. Stray! Be adventurous!

Best Kiss? R-Patz and Kristen Stewart win....surprise surprise. Their kiss could have been the most awkward thing ever, or just a kiss on the hand - and they'd still win. The Black Swan - no, just no. Eclipse - which kiss do you prefer? Oh, it it has to have Kristen Stewart in shot - yep, she was nominated again for her kiss with Jacob. I'm pretty sure kisses with your one love should be special and set above the rest, which just shows the character of Bella to be quite easy. There is no way she should have two nominations for best kiss, as it diminishes love forever. Harry Potter kissing Hermione aka Daniel Radcliffe (HAHAHAHAHAHA - good one MTV) kissing Emma Watson. Nope, not at all. And Inception - the context and what follows the kiss is better than the kiss itself as it's just a kiss, nothing that special about it - but the context of it is the winner. The kiss in Letters to Juliet should have been nominated.

Best jaw dropping moment? Justin Bieber in his performance spectacular. I am a JB fan, but his film bored me. I watched the first 45 mins, and got bored of him talking, girls screaming, his friend praising him, girls screaming, his manager praising him, girls screaming...eurgh. Boring. Maybe I didn't wait long enough for this spectacular performance - but I couldn't watch any more. The scene in The Black Swan didn't really cause my jaw to drop, more like my eyes to close and the mute put on - nasty, and unnecessary. In 127 hours, it is a great scene and James Franco does brilliantly, but I knew the general story, therefore it didn't cause my jaw to drop, but caused me to squint a bit think about what I would do in that situation. Jackass, I haven't seen. Inception had my jaw on the floor throughout...the CGI in the Paris cafe scene, in the famous scene where the town lifts up, and then at the end with the spinning top - does it stop? does it keep spinning? :O BRILLIANCE!

Biggest Badass Star? Now Gerard Butler won this award for his performance as King Leonidas in 300. He was a the epitome of the film bad ass. None of these nominees come close. If you can't find a bad ass with a badder ass than Gerard Butler's bad assness, then cancel the category. It's pointless.

Finally, the last award is The Best Scared-as-S**t performance. That's exactly the way it's written on imdb. Winner? Ellen Page in Inception. That's quite an interesting win. I thought Ellen Page was superb, but I didn't really think she was that scared - but held it together quite well. I haven't seen any of the others but Ryan Reynolds in Buried, being buried alive is not a nice thing - so I've heard. And 'Piranha's are things you don't really want to meet in water. The Last Exorcism sounds quite scary too....and the Roommate, scary stuff. I've had housemates and flatmates, but never a roommate - they could do all sorts of stuff to you like draw a moustache on your face as you sleep, or wake up with the dawn with a particularly loud alarm. AHHHH. Now THAT... is a scary thought.

Anyway, hope you've enjoyed reading my post on the latest MTV Movie Awards, and tune in next year for my analysis and opinions of the 2012 event.

My Extensive History with Instruments

I'm not sure about you, but I've had a long ordeal over the years in deciding which instrument to play. I had numerous factors to consider: whether my parents would approve; what I could get my hands on; what I could be bothered to practice; what would be easy to purchase; and what would be useful to play.

My various attempts to learn were fairly disastrous. Don't get me wrong, nothing went disastrously wrong...I just found a reason to stop learning. I reckon I could write a pretty good kids book going through each instrument as the reasons for stopping or not starting in the first place.

The first instrument I was made to play was the recorder. That lesson in which everyone had to bring their recorder in, and play nursery rhymes. I remember playing it - but can't remember anything about it now. I also loved playing the xylophone in infant school...but after I accidentally trod on one and sent all the metal bars on it flying, I was told off, made to sit in the corner, and not allowed to play it. Gutted.

The first instrument I wanted to play was the guitar, as my dad played, my brother played, my uncle played, and it seemed like everyone could play. How difficult could it be? As a fickle 7 year old, very. After a few weeks of attempting to play, and being put in a guitar orchestra (despite the fact I couldn't keep up with the others and eventually just acted like I could), I decided it wasn't for me. My fingers hurt, my hurt hurt, and I just couldn't be bothered...so I quit.

Then I wanted to play the trombone, but the music teacher said my arms were too short - so I wasn't allowed to. That was a gutting piece of information to receive. Therefore, she gave me a trumpet. May as well have slapped me in the face. I can safely say that didn't last long - I gave it a shot, but my parents didn't want me to have a trumpet as it would only sound good with other instruments. Good point. So I went for a euphonium - aka a small tuba. My parents also attempted to defer me away from this instrument for the same reason. They were obviously not too hot on me being in a brass band.

My parents, well my mum, was a big fan of Kenny G. A very good saxophonist. My mum wanted me to learn the saxophone. My best friend at the time played saxophone - but after seeing all those buttons and small metal lever things - I quickly opted out of it. Therefore, I resigned myself to settling with a kazoo. Simple to play, cheap to buy, and easy to hide/throw away. Perfect.

Ten(ish) years later of playing the kazoo at what would have been grade 7 standard, I was bored. So, I picked up my dad's guitar and sat by the computer - brought up ultimateguitar.com, and found a song. I had always wanted to play 'Cowboy Take Me Away' by the Dixie Chicks, they have an instrumental bit at the end of the song which I loved pretending to strum away to on my badminton racket. Therefore, this was the song I brought up with the chords. You can hover over the chord in question and it brings up this helpful little box which shows how to play the chord. After a week of practising, I played a little number to my dad. Suffice to say, his words were very encouraging, his eyes told a different story - but I appreciated the comment. So I continued. Then I went to uni and had to stop. Then I bought a second hand one from a friend of a friend, so I started again. Eventually, I was learning chords.

Somehow in between July 2008, and now... I would like to say I can play the guitar. Finally.

And as of Christmas 2010, I asked for a ukulele for Christmas - and I got one. Given it was a cheap, practice one...but with my instrument history, good call my parents...I could have given up. But for the past 6 months, I have been playing uke...and it's been going well. If you know how to play the guitar, learning the ukulele is quite simple, or it was for me anyway. The chord positions are different, but your fingers are used to having to move around on the fretboard, you just have to get used to the smaller neck to it. But once you get it, it's very worth it. As I said at the beginning, loads of people play the guitar...but not everyone plays a ukulele - it's a quirky little instrument and it reminds you of Hawaii if you let it...and you can play Jason Mraz songs.